In my work I have a lot to do with young people. I work in an apprentice training. Therefore, there are a lot of apprentices in the age of 15 to 20 years old. It’s really fascinating to me to see them obtain knowledge and skill and see them getting out of their shell, developing character and self-confidence.
One of the older apprentices always puzzled me. Let’s call him Darren. Darren is unbelievable self-confident and it isn’t like he’s cocky. He has just this unshakable presence and clear notion of the world, or at least it seems as if.
It always puzzled me a bit. I thought of me when I was his age (about 19 years old). I was somewhat confident, but never they Darren is. Heck, I’m not sure if I radiate as much confidence today as Darren does. And that bothers me! I want to be as confident as Darren is, but how? This leads me to the question:
How does one become self-confident?
First of all, it surely it has something to do with your upbringing. Did your parents encourage you to be self-confident or did they push you down? Be it consciously or subconsciously. More, did they or other close people (siblings, classmates, teachers etc.) lead by example? Of course culture plays a role in this too.
I think, what probably gets overlooked more often is a worldview and your place in the world. Darren, I have to say, has origins from the Balkans. I’m pretty sure his relatives and his culture encouraged him to be as self-confident as he is now. However, I think it gave him also a very clear sense of where his place in the world is. He wants a nice car (probably a BMW) and now after his apprenticeship wants to make some money. His worldview is simple, but rather complete. In my opinion, that’ what make it look so easy for the Darren’s of the world – the completeness of their worldview. And it is so complete, because it simple.
I think that’s what made it always hard for me to be self-confident. My worldview was scattered for the better part of my childhood and teenage years. I have some idea of the world now, but it surely is not simple nor complete.
So…
How do you become self-confident with an unfinished worldview?
The obvious answer would be to work on your worldview. I imagine this to be a good approach, but: When is your worldview complete enough? And why not be confident on the way there? Unfortunately, I only do have an answer to the latter. As I see it, you have two options: Either, you are ignorant of the fact how little you are and how little you know. OR you accept the fact how little you are how little you know, but also realize the same goes for other people as well. I assume this gives you somewhat self-confidence.
Admittedly, it also leads to another problem… Not everyone knows as little as you, which leads me to my last point:
Skill and Knowledge
In the awareness of your lack of skill and knowledge, you have something else: potential. If you make use of it, you obtain skill and knowledge, which makes you more self-confidence and maybe even completes your worldview.
